As roughly 30,000 students packed their bags to go home this weekend, the faculty of Iowa State University prepared for what has in recent years become a tradition: the Thanksgiving Faculty Party. Ever since former university president, Steven Leath, started hosting the event at the president’s mansion several years ago, hundreds of highly respected administrators, professors, and maintenance personnel have gathered each year for a night of revelry.
This year, however, the party got a bit out of hand. Newly appointed president Wendy Wintersteen, despite having an entire battalion of Parking Division stormtroopers on hand, was unable to contain the event. At one point the party spilled out onto Lincoln Way, backing up traffic for several blocks.
“It was absolutely insane.” Said Cornelius Curtiss, PhD. “I saw several of my esteemed colleagues doing things that would certainly have resulted in a disciplinary hearing if word ever got out.”
Police were called to the scene around 12:34 AM, when several members of the Iowa Board of Regents attempted to cut down a nearby traffic light using a chainsaw. An estimated 32 individuals were arrested, including several tenured professors. Wintersteen, who was reportedly DJing the event herself, could not be reached for comment, however several individuals stated to police that she was seen leaving the scene as police arrived via a steam tunnel.